Difficult feeling in all one’s life
The blast wreaks havoc, stir up a cloud of dust.
I carry medicine that has been just bought well, ride the bicycle shakingly. Move while being suitable and in fashion, bus is not nearly dashed forward like arrow by the heart without stone step, but I feel a bit unable to do what one wishes. It is nearly one week since the disease is poached in the bed, come to the county to the hospital to reexamine today, the doctor spoke and recuperated half a month more taking medicine on almost. A little over way of 5 kilometers, the abnormal sweating begins to bore outside the body. Getting home has more than 20 li, the setting sun will set soon, say anything can’t have a rest either. I inflate to encourage for oneself quietly. Insist on, insist on, insist on again, it is a victory that insist on.
At a crossroad, but I have to stop the car.
A hoary-headed peasant family woman sits on one side of the crossing in ragsly. A bulging broken burden is put by her. Vehicular traffic and pedestrian that is facing toward streaming past in an endless flow,fashionlife the old man begs everyone’s a direct route kind People’s Bank of China to take pity on and pardon him for his fault earnestly, how many li is she incidentally - Her foot has sprained, it is really unable to leave.
The car, the truck, the motorcycle, the bicycle, every one but stop in crossing Ga constantly. The man woman, the high one is low, the fat one is thin, the beautiful one is ugly Car owners, curiosity is satisfied, simultaneous and upset with one’s heart at peace to leave.
Ones that will go, go disappointedly; Ones that will come, will hope in the ground. The old woman begs piteously desolately and desolate and miserable in that, persons who go here and slipping on the person’s that has come indifferent face that even scorn, flood it in the numb blast helplessly.
I have seen far far that sign and even ride the bicycle for a moment. Two unloaded motorcycles brush against I side by side. “Well, this manners and morals of the time! “ The motorcycle host seems to sigh with all sorts of feeling for the circumstances of the old woman. Sigh with deep feeling, bite, ache heart of me like one malicious needle of wasp this. “People, someone might be hard to get along with. ” This sentence that mother often chats about before death sounds on my mind. I stop the car at once, hesitate in the twinkling of an eye, return to the crossroad.
In face of numerous complicated sight, I support the a little hoarse old woman of that throat with one’s hand slowly and slowly.
Carrying the cold wind whizzing, I am bending the backbone, am pedalling the car going all out to defeat strength.
The old woman sits on the car, feel ferociousness of the wind-force and difficulty riding a bike clearly, feel sorry in the heart very much, have to chatter tossing about. She said she has remained a widow for many years, the son has not waited for marriage and was collided to death by the car, has thanked to neighbour’s neighbour to help, she endures to now. During these years, people are old, do other things unfit for anything. Getting in busy farming season season, neighbour’s neighbour trusts her the child to look after. Those little children call her the grandmother, the small mouth is very sweet. They all like listening to the joke, like eating candies even more. Gather in the autumn crops soon for the moment, she choose with oneself money that rubbish earn buy some candy serve in town.
It is consoled that I want a few words of hers, but an intention as revealed in what one says has been filled in in one’s mouth. Lick, afford to do, I to pedal blow car. Sweat, is covered with the forehead first, then climb all over my whole body along the backbone.
“Big brother, you are really a rare good person all over the world, the good person must have good newspapers. ”
The good person must have good newspapers. The grandmother likes chattering this sentence too before death. However, in intricate actual life, the mast head light of the boat of a lot of people’s soul has gone out, intuitive knowledge lose on boundless and indistinct sea, good person make but good thing unavoidably suffer the judgment finally.
It is one dusk too. At the gate of school, a middle aged woman’s car has pressed a brick, fall down carelessly. It happened that I pass by nearby, run over at once, help that woman to set up the bicycle broken on her. Unexpectedly, woman that assert emphatically she it falls to be because I behave like a hoodlum, change she under the bus still brick on purpose. Otherwise, why not see she that there are bricks? Besides, according to what dog do you take mice officiously? What do you really want to do? There’s something wrong with you either nerve, what dirty and obscene attempt is there Horizontal to rumble the other side rotten to bomb furiously a period of time, I dumb person take the rhizome of Chinese goldthread bring oneself to mention, receive shame very in vain, still lose 10 yuan and repair fare.
A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit. For this reason, I have sworn an oath in all solemnity: No longer tripped over by the same stone definitely in this life! In fact, will face that piece wonder, let me take stone to go back hardship plan when not getting around more or less each time, I when being irresolute, feel oneself the Mr. that impart knowledge and educate people always, it is turned into a mole cricket and ant that in a trance in a flash, or a bedbug, then, in the deep self-accusation rising spontaneously, how many times of stones give up and does not shut in own high high thought that hangs up, continue being close to that and does not know to stumble me having no option.
“Big brother, see you look like, know gentle slack people of word, you say I make first thing against one’s conscience no lifetime, is it so bitter why God lean towards the life of calling me? You see for today, I am not willing to to add a piece of new clothes, in order to tell little children some fresh jokes, the ruthless ruthless heart has bought ‘ the foreign casket ‘ (radio) . It is glad to patronize, a foot has sprained because of carelessness. Hey, this is which lifetime I did evil! Big brother kindhearted in you fortunately. “ Listening to old woman, I am permeated with a stream of complicated waves and flow in the heart. A bit miserable, a bit surprised, some feel ashamed and regretful, some admiration. I did not think, a human body that was so ordinary as to nearly make persons scorn to take even a glance at, but is nourishing a great soul of letting the person look up!
The old woman knows and asks for behind him in a period of time. “Big brother, you can unquestionably build pieces of kind wife in the future, can unquestionably act as high-ranking official. ” The old woman shells a toffee while reading the song of liking, actually fill into my mouth. “Is it sweet that you taste this candy? ”
I nod in the place busily without end.
Can this candy be sweetless? This has concentrated the candy of one hundred flavor and manners and morals of the time vicissitudes in life! However, except sweet, it is hard yet, let my throat itch; Astringent and astringent, let my nose turn sour; Hot and hot, let my orbit generate heat. Candy this still cool soft in gentle a inherent one besides I of old woman, hard a hard one, just as that piece know, stumble how many times of stones it will be I.
Perhaps, just because there are candy and stone of this many flavor, there are coquettish flowers in the world, fresh sunshine, pure air; Mankind have from low to move towards sacred while being trivial, from decadent to move towards being lofty, from the inmature possibility that moved to maturity.
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